Wednesday, June 4, 2014

Your job does not define you.

The past few months have been a little tricky for me, as I transitioned from casual sales girl, full time designer, stylist, model wrangler, event coordinator, small business owner, blogger and all round fashion enthusiast to a full time sales girl in a men's fashion business. 
The first few weeks of full time work were great as I found my feet within the company and got accustomed to having a larger pay packet at the end of each week, but as I settled into my new role, I found myself questioning if I was doing enough with my time.
Despite working tremendous hours and giving my all to my new position, I started to feel a little discontent when someone asked me "what is it that you do for a living?"
Although working on my business for the past three years may have rendered me penniless, I had always felt a huge amount of pride that I was doing something out of the ordinary, that I was working hard to make my passion my life and filling my time with exciting adventures and challenges.
Now, I work as a full time sales rep, for an amazing company might I add, but that's the extent of my job title. Yes occasionally I still blog, and recently I've rediscovered my joy for sewing, but I'm in no hurry to rush back into my business, nor do I feel any desire to put on another fashion show any time soon, so if I'm no longer doing these things, who am I?
For so long I thought it was these job titles that defined me, but now I know, it isn't a job that defines you, it's who you are that defines you. A job can give someone an impression as to the kind of person you are, but in no way should it be what defines you as a person.
I'm a designer! I'm a blogger! I'm an event coordinator! I run my own fashion design business! Well, yes, those were things I did, but they aren't who I am.
I'm a creative sole, I love to write, I'm opinionated, I'm OCD organised when it comes to work, I love to be busy and I have a passion for working with cloth. These are things that define me, and things one could gather from my past job descriptions, but despite no longer being a fashion designer, I'm still a creative sole, I still love to sew, despite not working on my business (at this current time) I still like to be organised and I still love to network with people, despite not being an event coordinator I still love to party and organise little gatherings with my friends.
Despite the titles changing, I'm still who I am.
Regardless of my job description there are so many things that I would say define me, and these won't change, no matter what it is I do for a living.
First and foremost I'm a member of a beautiful family, I am a daughter and a sister (and a mummy to a little kitty cat called Duchess). I am a friend to many and a socialite at heart, but I only have a small handful of people I am super close to, and that I would do anything for.
I am an over feeler, I stress too much about the things I can not change, and I usually worry too much about other peoples feelings, despite my own.
I can be selfish and opinionated, but I hate to offend those whom I care about most.
I hate to see people cry.
I cry when an animal dies in a movie and I don't understand how people can be cruel to one another.
I don't understand war.
Sometimes I cry when I'm happy.
I am not a violent person, but I am hot headed in traffic.
I'm a dreamer and a talker and a collector of memories.
I'm adventurous but terrified of heights, I love cats and cute things and my favourite item of clothing is pyjamas.
I find it hard to lie.
I love sunshine and hate to be cold.
These are the things that define me.
I have experienced heart ache and deceit.
I have been in love with a person whom I had no trust.
I have known what it is like to watch someone lie to my face.
I have felt the sting of unfaithfulness and I have watched someone I love crumble before my eyes.
I have had my heart split open by many, yet I find it hard to hold grudges.
I get hurt easily, but with each new scar upon my heart, there is a little patch of silk that covers it, to serve as a reminder of the past.
I have watched someone I love try to take their own life, and I've felt that persons venom in words unimaginable.
These are things that define me.
I have felt my world fall apart around me and I've managed to pick up the pieces and patch them back together.
I have felt both success and failure, and it is the lessons I've learnt from these experiences that define me.
I am strong, and I am weak, and I will never give up on myself.
This is what defines me.
No job title, no test, no one person can define me, as I am everything that I am because of the 24 years I've lived and because of all the things I have done, felt, seen and experienced.
That is what defines me.
Don't let something as trivial as a job title define you, you are so much more than words.